Each week Jacob recaps the weekend box office and the winners and losers in the Midnight Warrior Fantasy Movie League.
WEEK 12 BOX OFFICE BREAKDOWN
Lions aren’t just king of the jungle, and they aren’t just for when studios ask us to dream-cast remakes. They’re also the king of the FML apparently. Lion has found its way into its third perfect cineplex. Even more impressively, it’s the only 3 time BP winner EVER. So does that make this Best Picture nominee the greatest FML film of all time? If you ask this guy, it’s La La Land because I’m going to continue to pick that movie until the cows come home. Also, to those of you who scrolled down to see if it was my pick this week, welcome back and stop trying to spoil my article.
Anchoring this week’s Perfect Cineplex was, as most players expected, The Lego Batman Movie. I won’t waste words here about what I think of the movie, because all of you have listened to this week’s episode already, right? …..Right?
The last screen was the 4th appearance of Hidden Figures in a Perfect Cineplex. I’ve been catching up on all the Best Picture nominees, and I saw this film last night. I’ll say it’s good, but I didn’t love the performance from Taraji P. Henson. I thought Janelle Monae was outstanding, as she seems to be in everything. She’s about the be the female Donald Glover when it comes to my dream-casting on the show, despite her dad’s statements on the French people.
As for the Midnight Warrior Fantasy Movie League, is anybody surprised that School of Rock and O PC, Where Art Thou? gained first place and a Perfect Cineplex for what must be the 30th week in a row. Maybe they haven’t won that much, but as somebody who has been chasing these two for week after week waiting for them to make a mistake, I realize it’s just not going to happen.
I deliberately played a high risk/high reward cineplex to try and catch these two in case they went belly-up in Week 12. Now I’m untold millions of dollars out of first place, and I just get to watch as these two neck-and-neck masters duke it out on Oscar weekend for that coveted ceramic championship cup. It makes a fellow sick to his stomach. Next year I’m pushing for reforms to ensure parity in FML. Write your Senator or Podcast Co-host today.
WEEK 13 PREDICTIONS
Three new films drop this Oscar weekend, and for at least one of them, I’m using the term “film” liberally. I think when the film is destined to end up in a War is Hell segment, you probably shouldn’t have it in your cineplex. That being said, A Dog’s Purpose is a one-time PC 6x anchor, so don’t listen to me.
As always, here are my takes on this week’s new releases:
- Get Out – Edgar Wright is tweeting that I should see this. Therefore, I will see this. But, it’s priced higher than The Lego Batman Movie, which seems to be more Oscar-proof. I’m betting that the Get Out crowd is probably catching up on a film they missed in preparation for Sunday night. Count me out.
- Rock Dog – Strangely enough, this is a real movie and not some fake 30 Rock Tracy Jordan film. It’s priced at $51, the same as A Dog’s Purpose. It’s in over 2,000 theaters, and you couldn’t pay me enough to put it in my cineplex this week.
- Collide – Apparently this is a movie that features Felicity Jones, Ben Kingsley, and Anthony Hopkins. It also stars Nicholas Hoult, who you may remember as Nux from Mad Max – Fury Road. $39 bux gets you in 2,000 theaters, but do you dare play it?
I will be playing the movie with a half-billion Oscar nods this week for what will probably be the last time. I’ll be seeing this for a second time this weekend, and many will be seeing it for the first. I’m calling it out for BP this week, and Best Picture this weekend. To fill out the top, I’m going with 2x Lego Batman and 2x Fifty Shades Darker. You could also do The Great Wall and John Wick Chapter 2 up top, which may be where I ultimately land. For those two spots, user discretion is advised.
Think La La Land doesn’t deserve Best Picture this weekend? Angrily tweet at me and then unfollow me @jakerg23.