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“In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes”*

 – Andy Warhol, program for a 1968 exhibition of his work at the Moderna Museet, Stockholm, Sweden

Have you ever wondered how future generations will look at us?

Experience suggests their judgment will be grim. Not because of anything we did or didn’t do, but simply because feeling superior to your ancestors is as American as a caramel macchiato.

Consider how unkindly we view past generations – if future generations hold as much distain for us as we hold for our ancestors, it will be deserved. Pride, inevitably, is punished.

Enter Shia LaBeouf.Continue reading

This article was originally featured in our weekly newsletter, the Midweek Memo. Subscribe here.


In over-preparation for the arrival of Spectre I marathon’d all its predecessors.

Viewing those 23 films I made some incredible discoveries, dug up a couple repressed memories, and sat through some real garbage. But even the worst Bond film has a silver lining somewhere.  Below is the obligatory “worst to best” list accompanied by the highs and lows of each film.

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For the first time in his nearly 80-year history, Batman is being brought to life by an Academy Award-winning Screenwriter, Director, and Producer.*

This should be a cause for celebration, right?

Yet Ben Affleck’s selection as the next man to don The Dark Knight’s cape-and-cowl has been met with a magnitude of nerd rage powerful enough to register 5.5 on the richter scale.

But why?

Why are we so quick to dismiss Batfleck before we’ve ever even seen the film?

Here’s a shamelessly click-baity article on Top 5 Reasons For The Batfleck Backlash!

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“Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible.” T.E. Lawrence

What is your white whale?

I’m talking about something that becomes an inescapable vortex of time and space whenever it crosses your mind. Something that can instantly turns a five minute phone call into a two hour forum with a single off-handed comment. Something you want so bad that you’ve knowingly downloaded weird files from dark corners of the internet for the improbable chance they might actually end your long and arduous search for it.

Do you have one of those?

What are you supposed to do when you finally catch it?

I’ve been attempting to answer this question for the past week.

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Films are supposed to be relatable.

Ok, ok, not really. Declaring a piece of art “not relatable” and using that flimsy framework as grounds for its dismissal is a modern conceit driven by self-absorbed narcissists who insist that all the art they consume must be a reflection of themselves, or rather how they see themselves, and as a consequence denies them the nourishing power of great drama that hails from a less solipsistic period (see Exhibit A, Ira Glass, “Shakespeare Sucks”).

But I digress…

For the sake of argument, lets say films are supposed to be relatable.

Fine, but what if it a film is more than relatable? What if it feels like the filmmaker has actually crawled into your psyche, dug out your Id, and is projecting light through your subconscious and onto a screen?

That would suck.

If you’ve ever experienced anything like it, then you can “relate” to my experience with the films of Noah Baumbach.

Let’s start here –

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In the realm of home theater systems “4K” is what “3D” was five or six years ago, and I mean that in the most pejorative way possible. Sure, 4K doesn’t require goofy spectacles or remind you of cheap 50s cinema gimmicks, and it even sounds sexier than 3D. But I have a hunch most people are confused about 4K and don’t even know it. We’ve reached this ridiculous place where even smart phones are getting 4K displays, and I want to ask you one simple question: Do you know what 4K means?

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Inspired by a bet way back when at Episode 13, I have decided to take on the challenge with the top 5 reasons why Godzilla: King of the Monsters stomps the original Japanese Godzilla.

“Shameless click-bait” you say?

Absolutely.

Nobody reads the intro to these things anyway, so lets get started!

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If you listen to the show with any regularity, you probably already know where I stand on J.J Abrams’s upcoming Star Wars: The Force Awakens, but I’m not sure I’ve ever really expressed just how much Star Wars once meant to me. As a child I was a huge fan of the original Star Wars films. For years I popped in a VHS tape of Episode IV, V, or VI every night before going to bed. If my love for film has an origin story, it begins with those three movies.

But as I grew older my horizons expanded, and Star Wars slowly drifted from my orbit. This was in no small part due to the prequels. I’ll attempt to spare you the redundant laundry list of complaints everyone throws out for Episodes I, II, & III, but I will say this; those were the first Star Wars films I ever saw in theaters, and they likely play a key role in my lack of fanboy enthusiasm for anything today.

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Jurassic World  has made more money than the GDP of about 15 countries, and counting. Isla Nublar is now one of the most profitable islands in the South Pacific.

One by one, previous records have gone extinct in its wake – biggest opening weekend, biggest 2nd weekend, fastest to $100M, $200, $300, on and on.

Experts knew it would be a hit. But potentially unseating Titanic as the 2nd highest-grossing movie ever? Nobody could’ve guess. Though in hindsight, it seems so obvious.

Jurassic World is the 3rd film in the franchise to break the opening weekend record (go stand in a corner JP3). And the original was the highest grossing film ever until that record was sunk by Titanic.

People love Jurassic Park. Sure JP3 underperformed, but that was 14 years ago, and can be blamed on that stupid Spinosaurus (yes, I’m a bitter T-Rex apologist, and No, I will not apologize for it).

Jurassic World stomping Avengers: Age of Ultron to become this summer’s juggernaut can be attributed to the most powerful of blockbuster film formulas  – Nostalgia + Novelty = $$$$Continue reading