or: All the parents are goin’ away.
All the teenagers are babysittin’.
And all the former child murders are murderin’.


We’ve reached the end of an era. With this episode, we can no longer endlessly taunt Jake for one of the most shameful cinematic sins ever confessed on the War Starts at Midnight and The Carpenter Shop, because today Jake finally watched John Carpenter’s Halloween!  Listen as we analyze this indie horror juggernaut, discuss the what does (or doesn’t) make The Master of Horror a certified auteur and debate who would win in a fight to the death between R.J. MacReady and The Shape (aka Michael Myers.)


SHOW NOTES

00:03:39 – Review – Halloween
Clash of the Carpenter – VOTE: Reigning Champion R.J. MacReady vs. The Shape (Michael Myers)
00:49:34 – Beer Pairing: Oktoberfest by Saint Arnold Brewing Company
“Catahoula Man” – Generationals
00:53:55 – Fantasy Movie League Recap – Week 05
“Keep it Low” – Generationals
01:10:11 – Really Rad Recommendations

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Each week Jacob mines the Fantasy Movie League chatter for all the data that matters. Listen to the podcast to find out how to join our listener league and compete with other Midnight Warrirors for the coveted FML Champion coffee mug.

WEEK 08: ONLY THE BRAVE WILL SEE GEOSTORM

This week looks like flop central. I’ve seen news stories already calling The Snowman a massive failure. One review called it the “cinematic equivalent of hypothermia.” Yet, it does star Michael Fassbender, who commands a cult following due to his incredible acting skills. Also, the movie is called The Snowman, which is totally dumb in any month except October. All that being said, this might not even be the main bomb for the week.

Geostorm has already been declared the loser to Boo 2! A Madea Halloween before the first person has entered a screening of either. Geostorm cost $15 million in reshoots alone, or what we like to call “the cost of Get Out and Split and Happy Death Day put together.” Deadline.com is reporting first weekend earnings of $10-$12 million, or what we like to call “10-12% of what those three movies opened at put together.”

But, none of that really matters in Fantasy Movie League terms. The only thing that sets expectations is the price as determined by the guys behind the scenes at FML. So let’s dive in and find out if you should trust any of these bombs to anchor your cineplex.

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Each week Jacob mines the Fantasy Movie League chatter for all the data that matters. Listen to the podcast to find out how to join our listener league and compete with other Midnight Warrirors for the coveted FML Champion coffee mug.

WEEK 07: TO KILL A MARSHALL-BIRD

It’s October, so you’ve probably been seeing black and orange everywhere. Unless you’re a Cincinatti Bengals fan (and if you are, may God have mercy on you) then that can only mean one thing: Halloween. No, not the movie we just reviewed, the actual holiday. When people star seeing skeletons and black cats, they also start seeing scary movies.

Only one other day draws in horror fans like Halloween, and that’s Friday the 13th. No, not the movie we’re never going to review, I mean when the 13th day of the month falls on a Friday. Well, this week we see an October Friday the 13th, so get ready to roll out your horror movies, even if it is a $5 million dollar Blumhouse film.

If you want to know if you should play Happy Death Day you’ll have to keep reading. It’s possible some other movie, let’s say set in the future, or in a toy ninja world, could have good enough numbers to make you play against the scary Groundhog Day knockoff. You’re going to be extra mad when you realize I don’t give an answer and also you have to read this article over and over for eternity until you achieve self-actualization or solve your own murder (whichever comes first).

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Each week Jacob mines the Fantasy Movie League chatter for all the data that matters. Listen to the podcast to find out how to join our listener league and compete with other Midnight Warrirors for the coveted FML Champion coffee mug.

WEEK 06: BET ON THE BRONIES

So there’s a thing called “bronies”. These are grown men (and women) who love the children’s cartoon My Little Pony. The show has an active subreddit of about 63,000 users. This week has a blockbuster coming out in Denis Villeneuve’s Blade Runner 2049, but all we can talk about is if the grown fans of a children’s show will treat an animated feature like it’s a Star Wars release.

One of the things I love about Fantasy Movie League is how our focus gets spotlighted on releases that normally most of us would totally overlook. Normally you really don’t have to know much about every single release, much less who the target demographic is. But, when you play FML, you end up visiting the My Little Pony subreddit just get a finger on the pulse of what all these damn bronies are thinking.

I wouldn’t think about that last part too much or you’re going to start trying to invest your time to positively improve your life, and if that time comes from your FML research time, you’re not going to finish very high on the leaderboards and that just sounds awful.

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Each week Jacob mines the Fantasy Movie League chatter for all the data that matters. Listen to the podcast to find out how to join our listener league and compete with other Midnight Warrirors for the coveted FML Champion coffee mug.

WEEK 05: ALL MY AMERICAN ASSASSINS ARE AMERICAN MADE

Fall always seems to be a hard season. It’s not awards season level hard, but some of those award films start creeping forward. Movies like Wind River sit out there for weeks collecting great reviews and you just never know when they’re going to pop and put up an amazing week.

Right alongside these are movies like American Assassin and American Made. They’re different movies, but they both feel like movies that just didn’t make the cut for summer. They aren’t bad enough to stash for Spring, but they aren’t good enough to make it to summer, and they’ll never win any awards. I don’t want to see these movies, and I’m not sure who does. I’m probably biased against them, but I’ll try to hide all my biases for this article.

Well, except for biases for my silver screen crush, who even looks good in a 70s tennis skirt… but more on that later.

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Each week Jacob mines the Fantasy Movie League chatter for all the data that matters. Listen to the podcast to find out how to join our listener league and compete with other Midnight Warrirors for the coveted FML Champion coffee mug.

WEEK 04: WHEN WE ALL GO WHERE NINJAGO

When lots of new movies drop at once, it throws a crazy wrench in the FML lineup process. When a third of the movies are new and the anchors are probably priced too high and the fillers priced too low, you have a recipe for a “moving week”. Besides the fact that I don’t particularly trust any of these anchors, the close pricing on the low-end means I don’t foresee a single dominant lineup in the Top 500 report unless we get some really strong preview numbers.

I’m going to do my best just to lay out information and let you put your chips anywhere on the roulette wheel you feel comfortable. If you’re doing well, this might be a good week to just hedge your bets. If you’re in my spot, you might be more tempted to bet on a LEGO brand and call it a day.

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or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Bomb No. 20


This transmission was recorded 20 years ago on a spaceship blasting through the cosmos and only recently found its way to Earth. It is the private audio diary of two podcasters known as Beardo and Crawdaddy – two intergalactic podcasters with one mission: seek out and discuss every single film in director John Carpenter’s canon. This entry is entitled: “Dark Star,” and appears to be a conversation of the director’s earliest know piece of feature-length filmmaking.


SHOW NOTES

00:11:53 – Review – Dark Star
00:36:54 – Beer Pairing: Lone Star Lager by Lone Star Brewing Company
“Benson Arizona”  – Dominik Hauser
00:40:53 – Fantasy Movie League Recap – Fall: Week 03
“When Twilight Falls On NGC 891” – Martin Segundo And The Scintilla Strings
00:53:13 – Really Rad Recommendations

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Each week Jacob mines the Fantasy Movie League chatter for all the data that matters. Join our FML league to compete with other Midnight Warrirors for the coveted FML Champion coffee mug.

TULIP FEVER: THE KIND THAT CAN’T BE MEASURE BY DEGREES

We’re testing out a change of format here at War Starts at Midnight. We’ll still be doing weekly FML articles, but instead of reviewing the last week and giving a rundown of our Midnight Warrior league, we’re going to focus on predicting what’s happening in the upcoming week. I’ll still give previews of each and every new release, but I’m also going to give a summary of all the data I look at when making my choices this year.

Finally, I’m going to make an FML account to play my preview lineup, just so you can hold me accountable for when I decide to screen some awful bottom of the barrel movie 8 times. Like this week, when I inevitably pick Birth of the DragonYeah, it might happen. Especially on a 4 day Labor Day FML weekend. What a way to open up the sure-to-be-confusing mess that will be Fall 2017.

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or: #DonaldForEveryone


Chris and Jacob get in the biggest pickle they’ve ever seen when they pit The Sandlot vs. Stand By Me in a head-to-head Civil War Showdown! Will the ever-quotable baseball flick live on FOR-EV-ER as the essentialiest coming of age summer film of all time? Or will River Phoenix and the legend of Lardass rally to win the pinnate?


SHOW NOTES

00:11:30 – Review – The Sandlot
Rent/Buy: iTunesAmazon, Google Play
00:32:32 – Review – Stand by Me
Stream:
 Sundance NowRent/Buy: iTunesAmazon, Google Play
America You Look Good – Reubens Accomplice
00:57:27 – Civil War Showdown – The Sandlot vs. Stand by Me
01:24:45 – Beer Recommendation: Puff – Double IPA by Sixpoint Brewery
This Desert – Reubens Accomplice
01:28:30 – Really Rad Recommendations

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Each week Jacob recaps the weekend box office and the winners and losers in the Midnight Warrior Fantasy Movie League.

 

WEEK 12 BOX OFFICE BREAKDOWN

Week 12 was not my finest week, but at least give me the chance to put it in perspective. Yes, I did finish dead last in our league, only earning about half of our first place gurus. Yes, I banked on the worst performer of the week, playing Logan Lucky on 5 screens, and, yes, I left a screen blank in order to fit that fifth Logan. But, I was in full aggression mode to catch the first place duo and I had a lot of faith in the heist film. The trailer was great, the reviews were great, and everybody was sleeping on it in the Chatter. So I went for it, and I’m still in third place in our league for the season. At least I can say I’m not dumb enough to try something like that again.

As for movies that didn’t suck last week, apparently, The Emoji Movie earned more than the 75 cents I expected it to make last week. It barely won out over its Perfect Cineplex mate The Hitman’s Bodyguard. I can’t understand why anybody would go and see either of these movies, so you can see why this illogical cineplex totally escaped me. Please leave a comment telling me why anybody would have gone to these last weekend. At least I see the appeal in Despicable Me 3. The other ones just boggle my mind. I feel a lot like Tommy Lee Jones in No Country for Old Men.

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